Someone called me ruthless the other day. And because I walked in on it, they tried to swing they meant it in a good way – just that ruthless people get things done.
Lately, I haven’t got much done. My emotions and grief and bad business decisions coming home to roost have practically paralyzed me.
Feels like treading water.
And I’m ok with that because with so many losses (including one of 2 remaining family members who support my ministry) and situationships, if things were “amazing” and I was “killing it” then IDK if I’d be the kind of person I want to be.
That God has called me to be.
That my husband and kids need me to be.
That I *want* to be.
I was beating myself up earlier about get over the feelings and get to work! We finally have clearance to begin releasing podcast episodes again (I’m waiting for the official paper to come next week), I’ve got a ladies conference to host, and and dozens of outstanding secretarial tasks for regional and national-level committees.
And the though hits me, “what’s the point of being ruthless if you aren’t getting things done?”
…but I don’t want to be ruthless. I truly do care
“what’s the point of caring about people if no one sees it, no one cares that you care, and they all still see you as ruthless anyway?”
These thoughts truly broke my heart. And then I had to challenge them: is this me? Or is this the enemy posing as me and trying to make me “take on” these feelings and weaken my faith?
Remember, you don’t have to believe every thought!
And you don’t have to RECEIVE every thought!
Scripture tells us we must challenge our thoughts, casting down any imaginations, cool ideas, human reasonings that are contrary to the knowledge of God (2 Cor 10:5).
We are also warned not to believe every spirit but test them to see if they are of God (1 Jn 4:1). This passage also says there are many false prophets out there.
God created us to have imagination, be creative beings, be able to analyze and synthesize information. After all, we are created in HIS image and these mental faculties are part of what sets us apart from His other creations.
And because He gave us creative power, the enemy of our soul knows that we can easily be swayed by an emotional or discouraging thought. Just because a thought “sounds right” or “seems true,” if it’s trying to discourage you or make it harder for you to trust God, then challenge it and cast it away from your life!
Be encouraged! God is on your side, and He wants you to succeed at faith and life!
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