If you’re anything like me, from time to time you engage in some behavior that opposes yourself.

For example, eating a bag of Oreos when I know I have a weigh-in tomorrow.

Or staying up til 4am when I have a big meeting at 8am.

I’m not a psychologist, but one thing I have noticed is that each of those behaviors can be traced back to a faulty belief system – typically one that other people introduced into my life!

Behavior defined can be a physical thing one does such as a morning routine and it can be non-physical such as replaying negative thoughts all day long.   A few behaviors are instinctual and built in while the rest are learned through meeting needs.  What this means is that our behaviors are motivated by our needs and therefore we can be manipulated as well as manipulate to have our needs met.

So when we have negative behaviors and we want to change them, we find it isn’t always so easy because these learned behaviors that we exhibit are actually rather complex.

There are two types of motivation – the motivation to approach something and the motivation to avoid something.  When we desire something, we are motivated to approach it therefore receiving positive reinforcement or feedback.  When we avoid something, we are motivated to move away from it or we will receive negative reinforcement or feedback.  This is pretty simple.  We understand that when we eat something sweet, most of us have a pleasant experience and when we eat something sour, our faces pucker and we try to avoid that experience again.

But let’s look at those things we approach or avoid because the thing doesn’t create that behavior, we do.  Some people desire the adrenaline rush of jumping out of an airplane. It is exhilarating – it is something they repeat again and again as it has a positive affect on them and they desire that and are motivated to seek that experience.  Some people avoid even the thought of getting on an airplane due to their learned fears that it will absolutely crash and they will die no matter what statisticians say – forget purposefully jumping out of a perfectly good airplane!  Did the airplane create these behaviors?  No!  We learned them.  And each of us react differently to different things, experiences, tastes, smells, thoughts, etc.  All because of our own personal thoughts and behaviors.

It’ time for us to stop allowing our lives to be controlled by the limitations imposed upon us by the thoughts of other people.

Read more for how to overcome this!

If you would like JJ to walk alongside of you on your journey to change behavior, please go here to schedule your free 60-min coaching consult.



PS:  Learn more today (Monday) at 11:30am Central (or 12:30pm Eastern) for our Power Hour (Maxwell & Money plus open Q&A). Dial in: 8:30pmCST/9:30EST (515) 739-1030 ID: 192891499!

PPS: We are now planning for the Fall 2018 Global Youth Initiative.  Every Oct and April John Maxwell Team members like myself put on free youth programming all month long.  Please consider making a donation toward our costs. Every $5 allows us to reach 2 more kids. 100% of donations go to kids, NO administrative fees. Follow THIS link, click register, then scroll down to donations. Thank you so much!


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